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Opal Muse

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Our ink like bodies plunge into the elder moons

entangled silhouettes sprouting dreams of mist

coagulating with the illusive twilight,

a chrysalis of burning stars and cosmic ocean

 

Eager eyes scavenge for a splash of beauty

the sienna countenance of earth’s reveries

a rapture of dancing ember leaves,

and the subtle vermilion of its aria

 

Canopied whispers lost in the breeze,

its zealous kiss clings onto our skin,

stroking our breath, as we bury ourselves

within the grove of its quixotic poetry

 

Our knotted limbs, rendering adamantine bonds

 

**Side-note: I’m going on vacation. I will return with new posts.

Thank you to all of my readers for your continued support.

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Catching Thoughts

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I do not have the power to stop someone from falling into the grips of depression, or the tyranny of anxiety. But I will challenge their fears.

I will remind them of the road they’ve journeyed on. I will pluck out the rot within their core, until my fingers are blackened in filth. But I will make them see.

This is a reminder.

My thoughts put a voice to the lies. The flayed wound of nefarious feelings, making a home within me. They keep me hostage in a corner, so I dye the walls with my flesh, my blood, and my essence to mark the complexity of its strokes, painting me dark on the inside.

A wraith tethered to the pain on the tip of its visceral tongue, nursing its despairing narrative.

I am not these thoughts. And yet I cultivate this self-sabotaging.

The manifestation of poisonous social commentary, populated with puppets trying to categorize every single person in their consciousness, so they match up to their distorted beliefs.

Society perpetuates negativity and exacerbates fear. And we carry this infection within ourselves.

The mind is the destroyer. It latches onto the interference of toxicity.

People hold onto oppression. They project fear and build their identities around it. Drama is celebrated. Stupidity is liked. People of power just sweep their dirt underneath a mountain of coin. Media whores wear masks inscribed with “Please validate me” in bold red print on their foreheads.

Take yourself out of this hellish circus. Search for truth deeper within yourself.

******

I stare my fear in the face to humanize it. I must embody its flesh. Because if I can’t conquer the turmoil within myself, society will siphon off my self-preservation and leave me twitching in the dirt.

We’re all scared of something. But I won’t use it as an excuse to be an asshole to myself or anyone else.

I function with my anxiety and bouts of depression. It does not define me. I bury it, away from vacant eyes. And I push through the tide. They’d never know. It belongs to me.

I stopped running when I accepted there was no peace, when there was no way for me to escape myself. Let it kill me a thousand times, a spiritual demise, but I would rebuild myself from the ashes. I will fight for my life.

Curiosity keeps me sated.

I anticipate what else is out there to experience.

Inactivity would destroy me.

With every rebirth, I compile my demons and dissect their turbulence.

In a way it is to be of service to others, to provide guidance when it’s warranted. It’s also to push me beyond my ego.

Convey what it means to love with the most obscure part of your soul, to hate with the deepest regret, to endure the scars of heartbreak, and the madness of fickle dreams. To understand what it means to be human. Balance good and evil within.

To be human is to suffer. To encompass beauty despite imperfection.

Being trapped in my head is the worse part, the mental revolution of spiraling downward into total lunacy. I remind myself not to be enslaved by this fear.

I usually feel like I don’t belong. I bend stereotypes.

I don’t believe in any one thing, I embrace many.

I don’t fit into a mold. I just am.

People want labels. I want freedom of expression.

I want choices.

And I am comfortable with this difference, navigating through the various masses. To others this might not be acceptable, but to me, I wouldn’t want to belong to anything that will make me turn my back on something else.

My ascension is greater than their interpretation of me.

******

The symptoms of my frustration derive from self-imposed unhappiness and this concept of time running away from me. The aftermath of participating in the rat race.

I disperse grenades from the marrow of my grotesque thoughts, especially during restless nights, or from the root of my nightmares, giving them power over me.

This is used to break me. A symphony of my undoing.

Sorrow undressed my vulnerabilities and cloaked me in victim-hood. This was not my truth.

The past tormented me and the future promised impending doom. This was not my truth.

Ridding myself of the toxic entities floating around in my life and all I had left was me. And in hating myself I wanted to end myself. This was not my truth.

Thoughts flowing down a river, striving to purge their initial burst of emotion and separate myself from its ravage.

Society is the untreated patient, a collective of provocations.

It understands nothing of its history and continues to chase its tail.

I can disconnect from it.

Yet I will fight the greatest battle against myself.

Uneasiness is constant for me. I’ll always be afraid of the things I can lose. I’ll never fully unshackle from the feelings trapped on the inside. The panic, the stress, the rage, my leeches of scorn, suckling bone. But I’ll rip them off before they can consume me.

I am not a condition. I am not a bad day. I am not a reckless thought.

I am the creator of my perception.

In being who I am, I’ve come to realize the mastery of self.

My truth is to derive satisfaction in the person I already am rather than who I want to be.

I ask myself constantly:

What do I believe? What doesn’t work for me? What flaw must I accept? What’s in my control?

To evolve. Create art through words.

Become my own spirituality. Discard the despair.

Find what it means to be you.

via Daily Prompt: Ascend

Vault of Horror: Favorites

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I absolutely love horror movies. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve seen since I was a kid. Surprisingly it was my mother that introduced me to the genre.

Since Halloween is approaching, I wanted to recommend a couple of my favorites worth checking out.

Movie List:

The Autopsy of Jane Doe – Father and son coroners perform an autopsy on a Jane Doe attached to a homicide case and begin to discover odd clues from her unsettling past. It’s a well paced story with supernatural elements. This is a recent favorite.

Dead Alive – A mother spying on her grown son is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey and turns into a zombie. Expect lots of blood and gore. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, its campy humor. Directed by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, District 9)

Return of the Living Dead – Two employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally releases a gas from a contained military experiment, re-animating the dead.  One of the most entertaining zombie films, it’s a well written script, and the actors are hilarious.

Martyrs – A woman whom was abducted and tortured as a young girl seeks revenge against the organization responsible, while descending into madness. It’s disturbing, on a psychological and visual level. It’s one of the best foreign horror films I’ve seen. (France)

Inside – A widowed pregnant woman is tormented in her home by a psychotic woman, who wants her unborn baby. Although some of the events were illogical, overall I found the concept to be solid. Both women’s performances were fantastic. There’s a lot of tension and suspense. (France)

Afflicted – Two friends film their trip abroad, when one of the men contracts a mysterious affliction. One of the few documentary/found footage films I thoroughly enjoyed. Creative story, well developed characters and awesome special effects.

Ginger Snaps – The story of two outcast teenage sisters fascinated with death; one night one of the sisters is attacked by a werewolf. Not your typical teen horror movie. There’s strong chemistry between the actresses, a solid story-line and good special effects.  There are two sequels, but the original is the best.

The Fly – A scientist works on a teleportation device, and while testing it on himself, a housefly slips in during the process, merging the two. This is a remake. I found myself grossed out a couple of times. What makes it worse is that you actually care about the characters. It makes everything that transpires during his transformation that much worse.

Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon – A man gives access to a TV crew to document his plans to become the next legend killer.  It’s a unique take on Slasher films, a homage, while poking fun at the genre. I was hyped by appearances from Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist series), Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th) and my favorite Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street series). It’s a love letter to horror fans.

Evil Dead 2 – A man and his girlfriend discover an audiotape left by a professor containing passages read from the Book of the Dead, which unleashes evil spirits. It’s comedic horror. The second movie is a parody of the first movie, but you don’t have to watch the original to enjoy this one. Ashley Williams (Bruce Campbell) is amazing. He is one of the few actors that can carry a scene on his own. The Evil Dead (2013) remake is very good and the television show (Ash Vs Evil Dead) is amusing as hell.

Re-Animator – A medical student experiments with a special serum to re-animate the dead. Another comedic horror. It’s loosely based on a short horror story by H.P. Lovecraft. It’s fun and campy. The main character puts on a great performance.

Hellraiser – A man opens a portal to hell with an antique puzzle box, summoning ruthless demons. It’s based on Clive Barker’s book “The Hellbound Heart”. This movie is incredible. It’s not senseless gore for shock value; there is a strong story behind it. Pinhead is one of the most iconic horror fiends ever.

The Thing – A group of scientists come across an alien force that can assimilate into other life forms. It’s a very suspenseful film and has a really strong cast. The special effects are mind blowing. It’s one of the best classic science fiction horror movies ever made. Directed by John Carpenter (Halloween, They Live).

Aliens – A starship crew responds to a distress call and discovers a nest of eggs of some alien life-form. If you haven’t seen this classic by now, it’s a must see. The characters are well-written, the atmosphere is eerie and the alien designs from visual artist H.R. Giger are top-notch. Another highly recommended classic science fiction horror film.

Rec – A TV reporter and her cameraman record an outbreak of a disease in a dark apartment building. It’s very well done for a found footage film. It’s frightening and thrilling. The American remake is called Quarantine, but I prefer the original. (Spain)

The Devil’s Candy – A painter and his family move into a new home marked down due to its disturbing past with former owners. There’s demonic imagery, great music and memorable acting. This is another recent favorite.

For anything else I’ve missed, be sure to check out lists from Time Out and Paste Magazine

Hope you find something you enjoy.

Faceless Morte

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I would throw myself onto the blade

If I could impose your pain onto myself

 

To tarnish your madness’s agony,

remnants of past and future

interlaced in the reaper’s fog

Serpentine tendrils of darkness,

affixed to nightfall’s backbone

the dead air of bruised skies

 

I won’t let you do this alone.

I am your army against the colossus,

The shadow shielding the harvest sun

As I thread arcane fire into your desolation,

Lifting you onto my scabrous wings

To save you from the hush of death

 

I am the feral claw, gnashing teeth

Binding myself to your silent discourse

Gutting the tenor of your suffering

disemboweling what makes you afraid

As I bite the tongue of corrosive falsities

to bestow eternal light upon your heart

 

I won’t let you disappear into the abyss

I will fight this battle with you, even as I fight my own

Emerging together from the cavity of metamorphosis

We will be unmovable

Vestiges Of Decay

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This city is a metropolis of bleak sepia dreams

A collective of tinderbox disillusions, infusing its obsidian skin

With the mark of the sunset, creating a short fuse ready to blow

Granite pillars puncturing the horizon, painting the skies glamour red

 

When people cry, it’s soundless, black diamond tears they can pawn

Mending their regrets, their disappointments clothed in fear

By liking placebo adoration, devouring hazardous chemicals

Sticking consumerism band-aids on their fleeting happiness

 

With avenues of runway caricatures, boulevards of sinuous bodies

A thousand eyes of pewter smoke, distorted ink blot perceptions

Running on puppet circuitry, their fangs rotting on the obscene

Shredding all of the beautiful things, while blowing kisses at death

 

Now perpetuating a march of drones, an exclusionary culture

A society uncrossing its legs for cannibalistic fame

Gluttonous for camouflage truth, romanticizing monetized lies

Breathing advertisements, spewing contagious sewage propaganda

As our lost souls bury their carnage underneath the asphalt

Scintilla Of Hope

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I can’t run away

From a mind riddled with self-wreckage

Nor can I escape it

It feels like I’m fighting with the wind

 

The enigma of my darkness

Disarrayed mental assassinations

Murdering my sanity,

Defiling my personal martyrs

Bringing my demons to life,

An avalanche of wayward emotions

The pulp of disposable madness

Bleeding through words, through speech

Palpitations evoked by gnarled fingers

Fear stricken, I come undone

 

Crawling in the underbelly of the beast

Cinching the catalyst into my spine

I’ll wear it like new found flesh

Shouldering the weight of its teeth

Burrowing the scum of its worms

Until I am inevitably swallowed,

dilapidated by the haze of its strife

A declaration of renegade blues

 

I must fight.

To live is to conquer

the crudeness of suffering,

the scarlet sweat of humanity

I dissect this scabbed heart

Probe the crux of its despair,

Yank out the roots of corrosion

Amputating the misery

Degrading its power over me

Make it so I can exist within the chaos

I’ll set it on fire and bathe in its ashes

Wanderer’s Abode

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I adorn my devoted love

With the flavor of your kiss

The crinkle of your smile

Gravity of your eyes,

Fruit of your desire,

Music of your infectious laughter

 

When I’m with you, the world stands still,

The violence in my head dissipates

You make the wounds stop bleeding

You scratch at the rust corroding my heart

Stripping away my patchwork flaws,

The ripened poison from my sins,

These chaotic fragments of desecration

 

I am tethered to your essence

Beyond sensation echoes,

Beyond a tapestry of flesh

The afterglow of divine love,

A swirling cornucopia of pure magic

Surpassing inked words of eternal stars

We are wanderers amid the meadow of cosmos

Our infinite souls boundless